It’s been a helluva couple weeks here. Hella hard. Hella nerve wracking. Hella intense. From missiles dropping on our heads, to being awakened by emergency sirens at all hours of the night, to running for shelter, to combatting anti Israel propaganda in media and growing, raging antisemitism in the world…. It’s time to lighten up and slide into the weekend with a few laffs.

We often speak of Israelis as being super resilient. That may be true, but how else to hold on to sanity than a firm faith in the man upstairs, a strong sense of humor and possibly even a stiff glass of whisky to steel the nerves? Despite all the tsurris in the land, life must go on… as normally as possible. We keep it together by finding the funny. By pointing out the absurd all around us.

This past week, saw millions of Israelis take to bomb shelters. In the larger cities, these were underground parking lots transformed into tent cities complete with food, entertainment, yoga and dance classes and book clubs. Go figure.

There’s never a good time for a missile strike. These are the top five by rank:

• 5th place: 7:00 pm. Awful timing. Say goodbye to sleeping kids at 7:30. You haven’t even caught up with the news so this missile has no storyline context. It’s a response to a response or just a response. Who knows? You are unfed, unshowered and the house looks like a missile will get it less messy.
• 4th place: 05:00 am. A missile that creates a nation of tired, grumpy zombies. There is nothing like starting your day in a room full of unbrushed teeth and overflowing bladders. You may watch the sun rise on your phone.
• 3rd place: midnight. Decent timing forces you to call it a day. Sure, the kids will wake up but they will go back to sleep and you might even earn a late morning tomorrow. Great time for a heart to heart conversation with a homeless person in the shelter.
• 2nd place: 09:00 pm. The classic slot. We are already on the couch watching the news and ready for action. The kids are hopefully in a deep sleep so the odds of a smooth transition are high. Pro-tip – shower early for public hygiene and for pajama party vibes in the shelter. You can even throw in a quick brush of the teeth just in case.Hygiene is the key to mental victory.
• And the 1st place: 01:00 pm. Perfect timing. A refreshing missile gives you an energy boost and a nice little mid-day break to ready you for the second half of the day. Take a few minutes to collect your thoughts. No need to hurry back to work. It’s a war break. You deserve it. Now is the time to join in on that Zumba class in the miklat.

Still, finding yourself in the middle of one of the smaller miklat with a group of random strangers in various array at 04:12 in the morning. Those are jokes in the making. To quite American/Tel Avivian, Sara Tuttle Singer:

Five People You’ll Meet in Your Bomb Shelter

1. The miluimnik (reservist) on a break: still in uniform, still sweating, still radiating “I’ve seen things.” He ducks into the shelter with a half-eaten Laffa, a cigarette behind one ear, a bottle of Goldstar and WhatsApp groups pinging non-stop. Somehow, he’s calm. Somehow, he has Wi-Fi. Somehow, he knows exactly what’s happening everywhere. You feel safer just being near him. He also knows a guy who can fix your car. 2) The woman yelling at her mother on the phone. She burst in mid-siren, holding ed sandals in one hand and screaming, “MA, I TOLD HOURS TO GET INTO THE SHELTER. NO. NOW, MA! STOP FEEDING THE CAT AND GO!” You don’t know her, but you know her. At some point she offers you Bisshli (Israeli snack chips). 3) The Start-Up Guy who will definitely monetize this. Already sketching an app idea called “BoomSafe” that matches you with your ideal shelter buddies. Has three phones, a laptop, and a protein bar. Says things like, “What if sirens, but social?” 4) The Savtah with the Tupperware: Didn’t flinch at the siren. Brought rugelach. Maybe schnitzel. Also hot soup – Kubbe, obviously, which she poured into actual bowls from her giant bag. “You’re too skinny. Eat. Eat.” You comply. Now part of her extended family, you will be invited to Seder. You will go. 5) Tomer from Tinder: He spotted her the moment she walked in – sweaty, breathless, radiant in her war!-time glow. “You ok?” He asks, tender hand lightly brushing her elbow. “You look scared.” Offers her a sip of his water. Offers her his number. Offers her healing. He’s here to help. He has emotions. And abs. And a guitar…. 6) The Dude who definitely head the boom: Every five seconds: “Did you hear that? That one was close.” Keeps sticking his head out the door like he’s got a death wish – or a podcast. Suddenly an expert in acoustics and ballistics. That was Iron Dome. No wait. Direct hit. No wait. I think that was a door slamming.” 7) The guy live-streaming to his followers: He’s on Instagram Live. Ring light plugged into a portable battery. “Hey guys! Day 12 in the bomb shelter. Tel Aviv vibes still strong! Don’t forget to like and donate to my coffee fund.” Will definitely sell merch after this is over. Already is. 8) The Philosopher it’s the tiny chair: he’s always there first, sitting calmly in the one adult-sized plastic chair. Quotes Kierkegaard and Yehuda Amichai mid-siren. Wants to know how you feel about the absurdity of life. May offer you a date (the fruit, not the invitation). May also be homeless. Or a professor. Or both. 9)The Oleh Chadash (new immigrant) with fire in his veins: Made Aliyah from Brooklyn three weeks ago on purpose. “This is exactly why I came,” he says, eyes blazing like Ben Gurion in a hoodie. He’s already posted three rants about Jewish destiny on X and volunteers to take out the trash and check for shrapnel. Keeps humming, “Am Yisrael Chai” under his breath. Definitely wants to go halfsies on an iHerb order. Says Bibi is his boy. 10) The teen who knows exactly when it’s safe. Headphones on. Eyes rolling. Texting six people while scrolling TikTok and explaining the Home Front Command app to everyone else. “Sheket, guys. It’s a false alarm in Tel Aviv. But there was a real one in Sderot.” This kid is 15, has trauma baked in, and will one day run this country.

Speaking of iHerb, I heard an Anglo at the market say, “I knew this was getting serious when iHerb and Amazon refused to take my order because of delivery delays.”

The memes were quick to come out, This is the new Israeli snack, Bissli, now reimagined

Being a Jewish country for the most part, there are always the jokes with the Biblical allusions.

Everyone’s so shocked that Israel planned this out for years, going so far as to build a secret drone factory in the middle of Tehran, just waiting for the right moment to strike. Bro, we literally killed time for like 40 years in the desert this one time. We invented the ‘long game.’

And then our Ministry of Fake News came out with the following last Monday – 🚨BREAKING: The Fordeau Fuel Enrichment Plant is UN damaged and completely operational, according to the Gaza Health Ministry. Also 🚨BREAKING: An Israeli hospital crashed into an Iranian ballistic missile this morning – Gaza Health Ministry.

We know how to take credit too:

We, here in Israel, love the Babylon Bee too. It’s uproarious!

Trump Bombed Iran. Here’s How 12 Media Outlets Covered The Story

MEDIA· Jun 24, 2025 · BabylonBee.com 

Welp, it looks like Trump bombed Iran. The Babylon Bee has assembled headlines from various media outlets here in one place so you can pick a little bit of the truth out of each to learn the whole story.

Here’s how different media outlets are covering the historic news:

1. New York Times — Quiet Middle Eastern Community Devastated By Unprovoked Trump Attack
2. Fox News — Trump Neutralizes Terrifying Iran Nuclear Threat With Mere Seconds To Spare
3. New York Post — AYATOLL-YA SO!Iran Out Of Luck As Trump Drops Bodacious Bunker Buster
4. CNN — Trump Cruelly Deprives Poor Iranian Children Of Nuclear Weapon They’ve Always Dreamed Of
5. MSNBC — Iran Is Now The George Floyd Of The Middle East
6. BBC News — REMINDER: Next Call To Prayer Is In One Hour. Allahu Akbar.
7. One America News — Yay Trump For Avoiding War – Oh Wait, He Bombed Iran? Really? I Mean, Yay Trump For Bombing Iran
8. Vice — I Took Fentanyl And Slept With A Penguin
9. Vogue — 5 Kinky Tricks You Can Try In The Bedroom To Show Your Support For Iran
10. Not The Bee — Trump Just Bombed The Snot Out Of Iran And The Responses Are STRAIGHT 🔥🔥🔥🤣
11. The Babylon Bee — Iranian Nuclear Facility Escapes Bombing By Identifying As Mar A Lago (That’s Right We Just Have The One Joke)
12. Al-Jazeera — TRUMP JUST BOMBED OUR HEADQUARTERS!!!

Another cute one::

Have a restful weekend my friends. As we say here Sof ha shavuah raguah…. Stay cool my friends. 😎