I haven’t written this week. I’ve been brooding. Despondent. Unsettled. There are days when I feel like my investigative reporting is getting me nowhere. Hitting a brick wall and bouncing back to me silent. Some of the news that I uncover makes me literally sick to my stomach. It contradicts the mainstream media and social influencers, the pundits and high profile international speakers. It’s not popular. And so many people just want fluff and niceties. An escape from the “depressing news” that I write. So thank you to my regular subscribers and readers who are sticking with me to know the truth.

I think my Jewish DNA makes me prewired to whine, murmur and complain, just like my ancestors in the wilderness. So indulge me for a paragraph or three.

I was awake and waiting news about the difficult labor and delivery (which led to an emergency cæsarian) of one of my daughters the morning of October 7, 2023. At 06:29am, I started getting the red alerts, which were scattershot all over Israel and incessant for over 30 minutes. Missiles and rockets were being launched from Gaza in a way that never happened previously and I knew something major was happening.

Because there was no coverage on any of the Israeli news sites, I had a hunch to switch to AlJazeera, MemriTV, TikTok and Instagram. And there it was in plain view. All of it. The Hamas terrorists were breaking through the border fences and going on a murderous rampage. I sat and watched glued to the screens for 6 1/2 hours. I forced myself to look, if only for the sake of history.

Trigger warning: sensitive material. You might want to skip this paragraph, but I do pray you will stick with me. I watched as terrorists threw grenades into shelters packed with young people. I witnessed Hamas operatives spray portapotties and ice cream freezer chests with bullets as kids hid for safety at the Nova Music Festival. I saw women being stabbed in the back multiple times as they were raped. Cars being set ablaze with people inside. Elderly women being kidnapped and brutalized by the civilian population as they entered Gaza. A mother and her two young children and the family dog being led, terrified, captive into Gaza. A young boy being made at gunpoint to go to his neighbors and speak to them in Hebrew that they would be safe if they opened the saferoom door….then shot. Little girls, young sisters shot as they tried to climb out the window of their house. Terrorists enjoying the food in the refrigerators of the people they were attacking. The laughter of the terrorists as they cut the breast off a young woman and started to play soccer/football with it.

I internalized it all. Numb for days as my son was called up to reserve duty along the Syrian border. Not knowing what would come next. Over the next few months, I attended six military funerals. My son lost several friends and classmates. We up here in the North endured two separate missile attacks from Iran. We ran to shelter as Hizbulla entered the war from Lebanon, forcing the evacuation of border communities, missile barrages coming at all hours of the day and night. I never cried. The numbness had worn off, and I was never fearful, relying fully on the Lord, but everything was internalized.

Even though it became more peaceful in the North, the rest of the country was still dodging missiles daily from the Houthis in Yemen, from Gaza, and then again from Iran in what is now called the 12 Day War. We were never in peril, but it was still unnerving. Neighbors with babies and small children had husbands serving in Gaza for repeated tours of duty, never knowing if they would see their loved ones again. Yet the Israeli people remained strong and determined to live as ‘normal’ lives as possible. And we did. But it wasn’t easy.

Through it all, my outlet was writing. We saw what was happening. We heard through soldiers and from people who were living through what would be turned into sick and twisted Anti-Israel propaganda. By the time the narrative reached the mainstream, it was pure fabrication. The world was relying on reporting directly from Hamas… that they were living in an open air prison; that Israel would not provide them with aid, fuel, electricity, clean water or food. It was reported that Israel was genociding the Palestinians, who were justified in resisting ‘the Occupation.’ That violent West Bank settlers were targeting Christians. The IDF was specifically raiding and demolishing churches. That they were starving the Gazans. And the world saw the carefully staged photographs and the world believed the lies.

The Hamas propaganda machine was working overtime. Demonstrations took place on university campuses throughout the Western world. No, it was just about the Zionists, they said. The evil Israeli army. Netanyahu was the satan controlling the world. And by the end of October, 2023, Jewish students were barred from even walking on their campuses and from attending classes. The encampments grew violent. There was destruction of property. Yet, no one in administrative power did anything to stop it.

In France, Jewish homes were marked with red swastikas and red triangles. IDF lone soldiers on leave to visit family in South Africa and Brazil were doxxed and arrested on trumped up humanitarian rights violations. Couples vacationing in Greece who were identifiably Jewish were beaten. An Israeli and American couple who worked for the embassy were murdered in D.C. A Jewish woman, Holocaust survivor, set on fire and killed in Colorado. A congressman’s home burned on Passover. Synagogues set ablaze worldwide.

This was more than just a stance against Israel. It was about the Jooooooz. There were angry demonstrations in London, New York, Paris, Madrid, Amsterdam, Berlin, Chicago and Los Angeles. Women in burkas, veiled from head to toe waving Palestinian flags. Young men spraying crowds with green and red smoke bombs. Young pink and blue haired youth with kheffiyahs wrapped around their bodies. Masked individuals shouting for Justice in Palestine and Free Palestine. From the River to the Sea, Palestine (all of Israel) will be free…. Of Jews. And much of the world stood with them. Or did nothing.

Just two weeks ago world leaders, Macron of France and Starmer or the UK followed by Australia and Canada and a few other countries including the Vatican, called for full recognition of a two state solution…a free Palestine with Jerusalem as its capital. And what was the result?

Hamas stopped negotiating for the release of the remaining 51 hostages. They have declared a victory. Terrorism and false propaganda has been rewarded by the worlds’ stance on the matter. The Gazans have continued to pump out staged photos of starving babies (despite the nourished mothers) and of children lined up behind a fence, rattling pans for ladles of watery soup. To add insult to injury, two six minute videos were released two weeks ago of truly starving and dying Israeli hostages. Taken from the music festival and from a bordering kibbutz, these two men have been living underground for nearly two years without access to food, clean water, clean air, light or medical treatment. And where is the Red Crescent (Red Cross has been changed to Red Crescent….in Israel Red Cross is Red Star of David, go figure, but I want to give equal information)? Yes. I am ranting. But there is grave injustice when the world only gives full coverage to only one side.

Last Friday I went to Jerusalem to interview some important figures in different denominations of Christian churches. I also spoke with “settlers,” actually very normal people with very normal lives and families in very suburban neighborhoods. The neighborhoods in small towns and cities just happen to be in Judaea, which some will call the Israeli Occupied West Bank. And I heard very conflicting stories.

Being active in Inter-Religious Dialogue in the United States, I inquired into the promise of dialogue. Both church officials told me that it was a thing of the past. “Dialogue is dead.” How disheartening. When I asked why, I was given the answer, “You can’t reason with these Jews.” How utterly heartbreaking.

I really am still going over my notes and debating if and what to write. I found the two people disseminating much of the lies: a doctor from Doctors Without Borders from North Carolina who was recruited to help in Gaza. He’s a very progressive secular Jew with no previous ties to Israel or Gaza. And he has told stories of the unbelievable atrocities against children and women at the hands of the “bloodthirsty and sadistic Israeli army.”

I know an aid worker, also from the States, who works to help the suffering Palestinians. Both people have spread absolute libels about what is happening. I have discovered verifiably that both work for Hamas. Both are asking for large sums of money to be donated to their personal charities. The aid worker has fed misinformation to the church officials and to the press. He has been featured by international media and has been interviewed by podcasters. I am reticent to mention his name or his foundation at this point, but he is asking (on each platform) to raise $400,000 U.S. dollars to get trucks to the starving civilians. He addresses Christian organizations he feels will spread the libels and be sympathetic listeners. If you recognize this, beware. He does nothing but talk of the targeted attacks on civilians by Israel and the forced starvation and genocide. He mentions that 50 of his men (he didn’t say they had Hamas ties) were killed in their attempt to deliver aid. And he wants your money.

I am not denying there are those that are going hungry in Gaza. I know there are hundreds of thousands of displaced people. It is horrible, but humanitarian aid is getting through. Even now, the terrorists that control the Strip hijack the trucks at gunpoint and take the food to their warehouses. They deliver the food to those who support them. It’s mob mentality: you work for us and we will take care of you. Don’t and you can starve. Then they sell off the rest of the goods at inflated prices in order to fund their war efforts.

In order to bring direct help, U.S. led Gaza Humanitarian Fund has been successfully controlling and distributing aid at set, reinforced sites. And now several European nations have joined in to airdrop or parachute pallets of food directly to the refugee camps.

The situation remains a huge mess. The IDF is still clearing out booby trapped homes and underground tunnels. The tunnels have been dug under residential areas, schools, mosques and hospitals, each with shafts leading outward to those buildings. They are heavily involved in house-to-house urban warfare, the most dangerous type of fighting. There are still plenty of heavily armed insurgents, not just from Hamas but from Palestinian Islamic Jihad, the Al Nusra Front, Daesh and other smaller factions.

This week it was reported first from AlJazeera, then picked up worldwide, that the IDF purposely eliminated seven journalists, there just to document the news in real time. It was then discovered that five of them were upper level Hamas operatives, friends with Mohamed Deif and Yahya Sinwar. One was actually head of the propaganda division. Another was a senior Hamas member and terrorist who was wearing a press jacket and embedded in the press tent. There are photos to prove all this.

This morning, the news is that there was a targeted IDF attack on two of the aid distribution warehouses …. The ones that just happened to be filled with baby formula, diapers and bottles.

So I am dismayed. Disappointed when a news outlet has now refused to print my stories. Disappointed when I hear false narratives. Distraught when I see people in the West fall for it. Upset when I see Christians (and some Evangelicals) who once supported Israel and stood with Israel turn their backs and rebuke our government and our military and our civilians. When long time Conservative supporters buy into the libels of people like Tucker Carlson and revoke their friendship with the Jewish state.

This is causing a rift in the fabric of the West. To support the Islamists and welcome them in or to support Israel. To demand a cease fire or to demand the return of the captives and for the terrorists to surrender completely. To demand a two state solution or to grant Israel sovereignty over Judaea and Samaria. To hold the terrorists and their sponsors accountable or to tell Israel to back down.

There is an enemy who comes to sow mistrust and division where there once was truth and certainty. There is an enemy who comes to convince that evil is good and right is wrong. There is an enemy who comes to tell you that the oppressors are actually the victims. There is a culture of death and a culture of life. A culture of complete disregard for humanity and a culture that believes every person is created in the likeness of the Creator with dignity and worth. There is an enemy who comes to kill, steal and destroy. To spread chaos. The enemy is slick and convincing and powerful.

Sometimes it is all too overwhelming. I do not know what to do with some of the information I have. I do not want to be a whistleblower. I am not scared, but I don’t like to stir things up. Please pray for my wisdom and discernment and that some of the information I have can get into the hands of sincerely good people.

Again, thank you for your readership. I promise that in the fall, I will resume writing about fun places to visit. Lifestyles, foods and recipes, culture and nature hikes. I pray for moral clarity and better days ahead. Shabbat shalom.