First, I want to thank you, my dear readers. You are the best!! I collected several heartfelt notes and letters both in my messages and direct email for our neighbors, the Aviv family. They lost their son, a beautiful peaceful windsurfer, who fell while on reserve duty in Gaza. I took them in a lovely ribbon-tied envelope last week. Emmi, Ido’s mom, was overwhelmed to tears. Both Emmi and Mark were absolutely shocked to know that people across the globe stand with them and support Israel. Every single Israeli I’m talking with feels so alone now. We all cried and I hugged both Emmi and Dasha (Ido’s fiancée- the wedding was supposed to be next month). We held each other close for a long while. I’ll be taking them another meal next Thursday, so your letters of comfort and encouragement are still wanted.

Speaking of neighbors: it’s time you met a few of my neighbors. Aryeh and Leah are 94 and 92 years old. They were born here and their passports and documents from pre-1948 label them as Palestinians. They were born under British mandated Palestine and their families have been here since the 1800s. They have been married 73 years. Every evening, Aryeh and Leah go on a long neighborhood walk, which is how we first met them.

Leah loved my hollyhocks, so I gave her some seeds. She gave me a gorgeous red amaryllis. I shared my baby Italian and Native American tomato plants with her. Turns out Aryeh was an engineer just like my husband and he worked for years at Raphael, which is very much like Teledyne where John worked. Leah was a school teacher for decades. They are still avid hikers, and have traveled the world with their children and grandchildren. And…… they, too, are “collectors of found objects.”

It’s been a hobby/obsession of mine to pick things up from our travels and walks: flowers to press, shells from the beach, coral (leading to my arrest here the first year), pinecones, fossils and rocks. My kids used to make fun of me. John has gotten used to it and has become a pretty good “picker” himself. So, last week when we visited our neighbors, we were amazed. Geodes, rocks, fossils – each from a special place with a unique history and a story.

This past weekend was the Jewish holiday of Lag b’Omer, a celebration of the Light of Creation, holy Light, the Light of the World through the Scriptures, which is sometimes compared to fire. It also commemorates the life of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai (Rashbi) and the miracles associated with him. Lag b’Omer is always a huge holiday here in Israel. Whether religious or secular, it’s a fun family festival where huge bonfires are lit. Kids sing and dance around the bonfires and families roast potatoes and eggs and meat wrapped in foil in the hot coals. The ultra religious make a pilgrimage to Mt. Meron, Rashbi’s tomb. This year, because of the war, everything was cancelled. No bonfires. No large gatherings. Especially Meron, which is a closed military area. It’s quite depressing.

Wednesday, John and I decided to drive up to Tsfat, about 30 minutes away. Nestled at the top of a mountain, it’s one of my favorite cities. This is the usually-busy tourist season. We would be having guests and taking them there this time of year. Big Bar Mitzvah and wedding parties would, in normal circumstances, be processing with musical fanfare down the already bustling cobblestones alleyways. Tsfat – sometimes transliterated Safed or Tzfat or Zefat, dates from Biblical times and is one of Israel’s four Holy Cities.

Tsfat was the home of the mystics and kabbalists. Today there are still many ultra Orthodox, but also there the hipsters, the hippies and the artists. Galleries line the streets of the Old City displaying high quality professional artwork like weaving, sculpture, painting, incredible jewelry and various crafts. They are known for their pieces of Judaica. And it’s a great place to shop for presents. We had an engagement party coming up and two weddings, and an anniversary.

The drive up, although always gorgeous scenery-wise, was somber. Much of the area is so close to the border, people are not traveling there. We get drones and missile attacks from Lebanon several times a day. The city was a ghost town. No tourists. Empty streets. Most shops are closed. In Israel, when a person dies, a black and white notice goes up informing the public of who died, where the funeral and where/when house of mourning will be held. This time in Tsfat, posters were plastered throughout the city. Death notices. A sad but also clever way of saying the city and its businesses had died.

Luckily, the candle shop was open. Safed Candles are amazing handmade, all-beeswax candles…for Shabbat, Havdalah, Chanukah and every day use. Plus this business, open for over 50 years, has lots of other beautiful Judaica. And now, because there is no business, everything was on sale. To fulfill a request from my oldest daughter I bought 6 pairs of long golden beeswax tapers for only about $15. She’ll be delighted. Plus I scored a few other colorful handmade gifts. One other gallery was open. We felt so sorry for the shop owner who had four small kids and no income for nearly eight months. So we bought a few items: Roman glass earrings for my daughters, an engagement gift and anniversary gift.

all-beeswax candles…for Shabbat, Havdalah, Chanukah and every day use. Plus this business, open for over 50 years, has lots of other beautiful Judaica. And now, because there is no business, everything was on sale. To fulfill a request from my oldest daughter I bought 6 pairs of long golden beeswax tapers for only about $15. She’ll be delighted. Plus I scored a few other colorful handmade gifts. One other gallery was open. We felt so sorry for the shop owner who had four small kids and no income for nearly eight months. So we bought a few items: Roman glass earrings for my daughters, an engagement gift and anniversary gift.

We stopped to admire the views from Tsfat. Mount Meron, which has been shelled daily (it’s a high point, literally, and a military intelligence installation. The day was so clear, there was no trouble at all seeing directly over the mountains into Lebanon – now all Hizbulla. Thankfully, there was no action, but John couldn’t leave quickly enough.

The highlight of our week happened last night. We were invited to an irusim, an engagement party. John had coached Pri’el in baseball as a kid and now he’s marrying his sweetheart, Bat’El. The cutest couple! But I’d never been to this type of party. The bride is from a Mizrachi Jewish family (Mid Eastern) and they have their own traditions. I was expecting a short, informal religious ritual where a rabbi blesses the newly engaged couple, basically a formal betrothal. I was totally wrong. No ceremony. No religious service.

Once again, most of the women were dressed fairly elegantly. Nope, not me. I kinda stuck out like an American sore thumb… and John in a short sleeve Hawaiian shirt. What were we thinking? We’ve been to funerals and weddings where people wore jeans, but the Mizrachi are different. Or rather we were- the men wore jackets, the women nice dresses. The young friends of Pri’El…. very casual, several in army uniforms.

The bride’s dowry and a gift table was set up for everyone to see. Gifts from the bride’s parents. All beautiful housewares – in white and black and gold. All wrapped beautifully in cellophane with silver or black ribbon. And my rainbow colored gift bag from America that said congratulations with the colorful tissue paper tucked inside. Totally out of place.

The music! Live DJ, drummers, guys singing these melodiously Arabic sounding Hebrew songs. The bride and groom-to-be wore all white. And the food! Hors-doeuvres, salads of the Middle Eastern variety (Baba ganoush, dolma, tabbouleh, humous, lox, pickled fish, cabbage salads, lentil salad….). Then the first course- skewered salmon grilled over a fire. Wow. Then the large platters of meat – kabobs, sausages, brisket, steak pieces). So the party was at 7:30. And I had made dinner and we ate beforehand. Oooopps!

And of course, the dancing. The guys all dancing separately from the girls in circles. The joy. Spontaneous eruptions in different places. And then the young couple and friends sneaking out into the courtyard for a dance together…but never touching. All so pure, and innocent, beautiful and joyful.

After all the food and dance, the father of the bride-to-be presented his future son-in-law with a magnificent gold watch. Rolex??? Then our good friends, the parents of the groom presented Bat’El with gold earrings, a necklace, bracelet and ankle bracelet. It is a tradition in the Mizrachi culture to give gifts of gold.

Then came the next high point. The engaged couple paraded through the room like prince and princess with families behind. Then the bride’s mom and the Kallah instructor (the bride has a special female escort and instructor of the laws of family purity…well save that one for another time) handed a crystal bowl filled with chocolate pudding??? and two candles to Bat’El. They each lit a candle. They then took the bowl of pudding???? with the lite candles and proceeded to wave it in circles over the heads of the engaged couple. So weird. While the chazzan chanted and the people clapped along. PriEl’s friends were dancing on the chairs – it was very very cool.

O.K. So I found out it wasn’t pudding. Or mud. Or a bowl of poo. It was Hannah. And now the ceremony begins as the bride’s mother and grandmother henna’d the palms of the engaged couple. And put a cool seal on to, tying it behind the hand. And next all the women line up to get their hands henna’d too.

By this time, it was getting on to midnight, and the desserts and rest of the festivities were going strong. We were beyond exhausted so John and I took our leave. It was quite the cultural experience- and a lot of fun. But now, preparations for Shabbat begin in earnest, so…more news next week.

Please, if you haven’t already done so, I ask you to write little notes of comfort for and solidarity with the grieving Aviv family. I will present them next Thursday. I can’t tell you how much a little note means to these people. To know they are not alone. Just put them in the comments section. And have a peaceful, relaxing weekend.