23 October, 2023
Waiting. It’s what we are all practicing now. It’s supposed to breed patience. Or something like that. Waiting. Last night I was informed there would be emergency surgery for my kidney last night. It couldn’t wait. The doctors were going in. But there wasn’t enough available staff.
I was ready, but eventually moving to a room wasn’t so bad. The hospital was surprisingly empty and quiet and there was room to move around and prepare for the morning. Fasting. Hospital gown. IVs. Get focused. At dawn, another group of s doctors came in. They explained three possibilities, laying out 3 separate plans, and said a team was ready and a room would be scheduled. I should be down by 9 am. Waiting some more. There are no televisions in Israeli hospitals. I have my phone to keep contact with family. Waiting. I am ready to go.
I’m getting tired of waiting. What’s taking so long? Still fasting. Ready to go but I’d like to know which option the doctor has chosen. Morning has turned to afternoon and I’ve been in bed all day awaiting further information. Is something wrong? OK. I’ll try to be patient.
It is now mid afternoon already. Two nurses on the entire floor. No doctors. A cleaning lady.. it’s all very quiet. I’ve been fasting since yesterday. It’s fine. It will give weight to my prayers. Still waiting. Is something wrong? What could be wrong? Pain meds started. If it’s really an emergency why am I still here like this following orders? Finally Sami the nurse…I think they are on 24 hour shifts here… has spoken to the doctor. I will speak to the doctor.
I go to the doctor’s closet. The room is so tiny I would not even call it an office or even a room at all. It’s a closet. I wait. I wait. Perhaps I have the wrong room. No. It’s correct. The doctor never shows up and I’m escorted back to my hospital bed to wait there. Later the nurse informs me there will be a surgery in the morning. I can eat. A tray of bread, sour cream, yogurt and tea is brought in.
Eventually the doctor, making his rounds comes in. He explains they don’t have an available surgical room. I ask questions which are vaguely answered. By late evening I’m told by the next round of doctors that bloodwork will be done. If the test results are not elevated I can be released to home to wait. When a team is ready and a surgical suite is scheduled, I will be called up. They will go in and put in a stent to relieve the pressure and send me home again. In a month they will take out the stent and remove the stones.
So why do I tell you all this? Because all day I’ve been thinking of the Middle East situation. There was a beyond terrible attack leaving behind lots of blood, a wake of destruction, the unknown, terrible pain in Israel two weeks ago. Sea The entire country seemed to be hemorrhaging. The troops were called up. The reservists. To all the borders. To all the hotspots.
They were full of adrenaline. Ready to go. Boots on the ground waiting for orders. The army was not only physically prepared but spiritually. The country was united- one family, one purpose. They had tapped into a spiritual electrical grid only seen in books of the Bible. Prayers. Hymns. Psalms. Blessings. Lifting hands in prayer and simultaneously dancing breaking out in fields and on bases. Behind the scenes the moms and wives were praying. Jews and Christians around the world were praying.
And then it stalled. One day. Three days. 370,000 reservists were enlisted. All showed. Plane loads of expats returned to fight for their homeland, to treat the wounded and to help out in any way possible. And we waited. One week. Two weeks. Trucks of humanitarian aid were brought in. Diplomats came in and out of the country’s like doctors in the hospital, giving opinions and orders. What should be done was discussed behind closed doors.
Three written objectives were given to the world by the IDF. To assure a game plan was there in advance, because wars can be planned out with surgical precision, it seems. The first stage is like the antibiotics coursing through my veins, happening now, undercover. It will destroy all known Hamas infrastructure. All buildings. All hideouts, weapons storage sites, munitions factories. The clearing out from the top (dropping bombs on N Gaza) will pave their way for ground troops.
The second phase, according to Defense Minister Gallant, is an intermediate phase. It will relieve the pressure, much like a stent will drain the kidney and enlarge the opening to go in. It buys even more time. Any hidden pockets of resistance will be taken out. It could take a month. It could take 3- 6 months. I don’t know… do they?
The third part is the build up part. To create a new security regime in the strip. A Gaza autonomy zone where there can be rebuilding- and peace and coexistence??? There do not seem to be specifics as to what that will look like. A new reality.
Until then, I’m sure it will take lots of painkillers and anti anxiety drugs. I’m really not trying to make light of a very heavy and serious situation. I’m just trying to relate to both my own and our troop actions. Currently feels like we’re both stuck in an endless holding pattern. At once ready and waiting-
Israel Dreams 
Holding you in heart and prayers…waiting is hard.
One of the most amazing things to me in the scripture is comparing the earthly blessing of Jacob to his 12 sons which reflected on both positive and negative aspects of their lives and personalities. If you read in Genesis 49 you come to verse 18 in the middle of it all Jacob seems to have a bit of a pause and says,
“I wait for your salvation oh L-rd.”
Sometimes I think we mothers have a head start on the rest of the world understanding waiting. 9 months. Whenever I pray over my friends and beautifully rounded tummies with life inside I always had a request of the L-rd that I prayed for my own children, L-rd let the child be two weeks early!😊. Because by the time you’re two weeks out from the due date you’re done. You’re ready. anytime now baby can come. But then there’s a whole new level of waiting when you go into labor. That physical time span is not 9 months, it’s usually hours prayerfully not days.
But that is a whole new level of waiting as the body is anticipating probably the most amazing miracle in our natural Earth. The miracle of birth. In that birth all of the suffering was worth it, and in a healthy mother one who is been Loved upon all the years of her life, one who is not suffering from mental or physical illness, the pain is so worth it and joy eclipses all because there will be more pain as we suffer with them, as we have to discipline them in, as we see them stray and then see them return, the pain still goes ebbing and flowing but the joy of their lives eclipses all.
The relationship is greater than everything. Just their very existence is worth me living and dying for and that brings me such Joy. Joy in the teen moments, Joy changing diapers, Joy when they storm out of the house knowing that they will surely be back because they would miss my hugs and kisses too much…
How highly valued is every life. So worth the pain, the suffering, so likewise the world suffers waiting in agony for Shiloh to come. And they too are worth it, but that doesn’t minimize the sorrow and heartbreak and pain and complete irritability at the waiting.
I cannot look it up right now, but one can find where Moses the man of G-d gives blessing to the tribes of Israel, now a spiritual blessing. And what a change! When heaven touches Earth and they are blessed. The waiting over, the human flaws of Jacobs 12 sons is eclipsed by grace as God’s love steps in and blesses the 12 tribes.
With everything in me I look forward to the day when all will be restored for the renewal. But yes, my dear sister, I’ve been waiting 50+ years of my life along with you and the waiting is hard.
I wonder if G-d feels the same about us as He patiently waits for His children to draw into His love, longing infinitely more than we ever could for the sorrow and the suffering to end and for all to know his truth and love…
So often we pray and we pray and ask for him to hear our prayers, but do we hear equally with love and obedience His requests, commands of us? To worship him alone, because nothing else has the power to save us. Salvation belongs to Him alone, not to man. Not to any other god.
Do we hear his cries throughout the Torah and going through the prophets to be kind to the poor, not to be greedy or self centered but to care for those around us? Do we hear his words to trust him for all we need and to seek him with all of our hearts? To love G-d, to love one’s neighbor as ourselves. Yes, for justice certainly. But if there is an eternal G-d as we Believe, surely we know he is perfectly capable of Justice himself. And unlike us, his judgment is perfect.
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
So many people criticize that statement not understanding, most humans throughout humanity and even in our world today do not want one eye for one eye. G-d was putting limits on man’s natural instinct for revenge. Most humans when something wrong is done for them want to take back plus plenty more. But G-d’s love puts limits on our hatred and our lust for revenge. And he waits… Patiently for us to understand.
Praying that all go well with your surgery and for you right now to be safe. Praying for the soldiers there waiting, for help and G-d’s will there.
Praying for G-d to help us to see clearly and for good vision, because the one who created every human has no problem still pulling faithful Lot out of Sodom and Gomorrah, and neither does He still have a problem granting Mercy to Nineveh when they repent.
May we have wisdom to do the same.
G-d’s peace.
LikeLike
I understand the analigy. Get well.
LikeLiked by 1 person