23 October, 2023

Waiting. It’s what we are all practicing now. It’s supposed to breed patience. Or something like that. Waiting. Last night I was informed there would be emergency surgery for my kidney last night. It couldn’t wait. The doctors were going in. But there wasn’t enough available staff.

I was ready, but eventually moving to a room wasn’t so bad. The hospital was surprisingly empty and quiet and there was room to move around and prepare for the morning. Fasting. Hospital gown. IVs. Get focused. At dawn, another group of s doctors came in. They explained three possibilities, laying out 3 separate plans, and said a team was ready and a room would be scheduled. I should be down by 9 am. Waiting some more. There are no televisions in Israeli hospitals. I have my phone to keep contact with family. Waiting. I am ready to go.

I’m getting tired of waiting. What’s taking so long? Still fasting. Ready to go but I’d like to know which option the doctor has chosen. Morning has turned to afternoon and I’ve been in bed all day awaiting further information. Is something wrong? OK. I’ll try to be patient.

It is now mid afternoon already. Two nurses on the entire floor. No doctors. A cleaning lady.. it’s all very quiet. I’ve been fasting since yesterday. It’s fine. It will give weight to my prayers. Still waiting. Is something wrong? What could be wrong? Pain meds started. If it’s really an emergency why am I still here like this following orders? Finally Sami the nurse…I think they are on 24 hour shifts here… has spoken to the doctor. I will speak to the doctor.

I go to the doctor’s closet. The room is so tiny I would not even call it an office or even a room at all. It’s a closet. I wait. I wait. Perhaps I have the wrong room. No. It’s correct. The doctor never shows up and I’m escorted back to my hospital bed to wait there. Later the nurse informs me there will be a surgery in the morning. I can eat. A tray of bread, sour cream, yogurt and tea is brought in.

Eventually the doctor, making his rounds comes in. He explains they don’t have an available surgical room. I ask questions which are vaguely answered. By late evening I’m told by the next round of doctors that bloodwork will be done. If the test results are not elevated I can be released to home to wait. When a team is ready and a surgical suite is scheduled, I will be called up. They will go in and put in a stent to relieve the pressure and send me home again. In a month they will take out the stent and remove the stones.

So why do I tell you all this? Because all day I’ve been thinking of the Middle East situation. There was a beyond terrible attack leaving behind lots of blood, a wake of destruction, the unknown, terrible pain in Israel two weeks ago. Sea The entire country seemed to be hemorrhaging. The troops were called up. The reservists. To all the borders. To all the hotspots.

They were full of adrenaline. Ready to go. Boots on the ground waiting for orders. The army was not only physically prepared but spiritually. The country was united- one family, one purpose. They had tapped into a spiritual electrical grid only seen in books of the Bible. Prayers. Hymns. Psalms. Blessings. Lifting hands in prayer and simultaneously dancing breaking out in fields and on bases. Behind the scenes the moms and wives were praying. Jews and Christians around the world were praying.

And then it stalled. One day. Three days. 370,000 reservists were enlisted. All showed. Plane loads of expats returned to fight for their homeland, to treat the wounded and to help out in any way possible. And we waited. One week. Two weeks. Trucks of humanitarian aid were brought in. Diplomats came in and out of the country’s like doctors in the hospital, giving opinions and orders. What should be done was discussed behind closed doors.

Three written objectives were given to the world by the IDF. To assure a game plan was there in advance, because wars can be planned out with surgical precision, it seems. The first stage is like the antibiotics coursing through my veins, happening now, undercover. It will destroy all known Hamas infrastructure. All buildings. All hideouts, weapons storage sites, munitions factories. The clearing out from the top (dropping bombs on N Gaza) will pave their way for ground troops.

The second phase, according to Defense Minister Gallant, is an intermediate phase. It will relieve the pressure, much like a stent will drain the kidney and enlarge the opening to go in. It buys even more time. Any hidden pockets of resistance will be taken out. It could take a month. It could take 3- 6 months. I don’t know… do they?

The third part is the build up part. To create a new security regime in the strip. A Gaza autonomy zone where there can be rebuilding- and peace and coexistence??? There do not seem to be specifics as to what that will look like. A new reality.

Until then, I’m sure it will take lots of painkillers and anti anxiety drugs. I’m really not trying to make light of a very heavy and serious situation. I’m just trying to relate to both my own and our troop actions. Currently feels like we’re both stuck in an endless holding pattern. At once ready and waiting-